01. Who Do You Think You Were?
Who do you think you were?
So gallant and presentable,
something
still
was missing.
Who do you swear you are?
A venomous reptile,
fangs
out
and hissing.
What happened to the man they knew there?
Was he swallowed up by the future?
Feet fastened to the air
Who do you want to be?
Shove talent on a pedestal
then
proceed
to wishing.
What are you screaming for?
Mix metaphors and similes
but
noone's
even listenin'.
What happened to the twinkling eyes?
Did they die a fiery death?
Feet fastened to the sky
You have let yourself go.
Once valiant and invincibile,
young
and
resolute
Life lost its glorious glow,
even that became disposable.
Strung
out
on the truth
What happened to the son of your mother?
Was he busy freeing his mind?
Feet fastened to the air
Go see the surgeon
complaining of a loss of blood,
begging for a suture.
02. Serotonin
Paranoia
you woke up screaming
in the night
I held you tightly
chased those terrors
out of sight
Were you honest?
Did you want to bear my child?
Or were those sentiments
serotonin side effects?
Hike up your dress
and show me the scars
that swirl
your leg,
testament
to times of trial.
And I'll show you
the box
under my bed
Serotonin,
swimming in a sea of
smiles
Now we're dancing
and you whisper
besa moi.
Were you honest?
Did you want to bear my child?
Were you honest?
Did you want to bear my child?
03. Mr. Anderson
Mr. Anderson,
could you please lend a hand?
I'm trying to act out a scene.
One
empty
room
at a time.
This desolate wasteland
of musical incest
shattered your start studded
fantasy world.
One
broken
dream
at a time.
Nothings what your ears receive
when they are swollen shut.
Wiping tears with newspapers
you almost were a star.
I hate to be honest
when feelings are earnest,
but I've been in the same boat before.
Waves crashing over the side
Standing in vomit,
and peeling the onions,
paying your dues to the ship.
One broken skin at a time.
Writing up so angrily
the secret club report
wiping tears with newspaper,
opinion section rock.
The dictatorships
were put into place
long before you arrived.
So don't even try
to resist politics.
They don't give a shit
who you are
where you been
what you've done
with your friends.
Hit the bricks.
You won't be missed.
And stop hanging around
searching for sound.
You will not find it.
They don't give a shit
who you are
where you've been
what you've done
with your friends.
04. Son Of A Bank
Son of a bank,
bottomless pit of prodigality!
Solidarity was attained.
Sit in the house,
inheritance this gracious charity!
Darkest wizardry was observed.
Go out and sew the land.
Turn it with bare hands.
Wander aimlessly
alone
for
months
Idolatorous commotion
on the hill!
Backsliding down
the mountains of deception.
Upon your return,
we will slaughter a bull.
Prodigal son
where have you gone?
Sleep with the pigs,
is this what father meant by travelling?
Joyless beggar man
getting old
Harlots and wine
your memory begins unravelling.
Spoiled refugee
spending gold
The love of this commotion
makes you ill.
Chastized by piles
of family protection
Upon your return
we will open the vault.
Prodigal son,
what have you done?
Your father waits and waits,
staring at the gate,
eagerly awaiting your return.
05. Speaking French
Peanut bags,
sleeping pills,
airline food
for 16 hours.
Flying from
this hellhole,
to Florence
and to Bordeaux
You frolick
topless on the beach
of the Mediterranean sea.
I'm dwelling
helpless on the fact
all the men will be eyeraping you.
I'm not apt at speaking french,
but I've seen you at your worst
walking out an open door.
Then walk back in
looking your best,
as I stumble on my words,
you admit I'm not the first.
Left a part of yourself
in an alley in Spain
GOODBYE
Spanish men
Do the foreign landscapes
amaze you enough?
Your heart doesn't
ache too much?
Check the mail
every hour.
No response.
Your words don't reach me.
Amelia Earheart carry letters
across the stormy white seas
to ma cheri.
06. Warmth of a Dryer
I don't have the fortitude,
and you don't have the time
to get caught up in catering to me.
Let's share our attitudes,
our impulses and skills,
those lustful thoughts
and love hypotheses.
Let's hit the bedroom,
hungry little baby.
I'll play daddy.
You play daddy's other girl.
But I am a burden,
difficult to carry.
If you had me,
you'd find better somewhere else.
Flash
in the pan,
shining star
of luminescent
hope.
Clutch the veins
upon my wrist
with homewrecking hands.
The warmth of a dryer
on my frozen legs
made a moment in my mind.
We shared a whole
bottle of wine.
Seems like an hour
when we spoke the day
over prison walls I climbed.
To share some
empty time.
When you got fucked over
I was far away,
clinging gravely to dead time.
Drive past those houses
each day,
how I wish that car were mine,
the one that made you cry.
07. Cold Day in July
That empty feeling fills me up,
but I block those thoughts
and batten down
the hatches of my hollow heart
a storm is brewing in my gut
Hot air
blowing through my mind,
it was a cold day in july
with a warm front close behind.
Currents
meeting in the west
it was a temperate tempest.
I was desperate at best.
Flashing lightning,
pouring rain,
skies falling torrentially,
floods are forming at my feet.
It started hailing in my room,
a freezing rain the night the left.
It pelted me all afternoon.
A storm was raging in my heart.
Sunshine,
all mine.
Where has it gone?
The sky is turning black.
A roaring thunder claps.
Sirens
going off
outside my home.
A swirling funnel cloud
deep inside my soul.
08. Better Off
Are you as happy
as you're acting?
I think we were both
better off.
So as I scribble...
So as I scribble drunken gibberish
on the back of a photo page
at the supermarket.
Memories are shit
if what you're remembering is lost,
like the eyes of the zombified
as they push their carts
to a life of misery.
Sit in my house of asbestos
throwing rocks at passers-by,
a break in the boards beneath us
gave way to intruding blue eyes.
Love is a means to an end,
a trick played by the world,
a self portrait on the devil's easel.
Marriage proposal in hand,
an awkward need for congratulations
I used to have.
Don't
need
the
drugs.
Just need something
to need me back.
Don't
need
the
drugs.
Just need something
to need me back.
09. Said To Myself
You know, I said to myself,
the addictions come best
when you put on the shelf
the times you were surrounded by your wealth.
And the lies
that we both told ourselves
were quickly placed
on the first train to hell
and I was busy
shovelling
the coals.
You know, the stars haven't changed.
For a million or more
years they just stay.
And could be out
by the time you hear these words.
But violence
will make ratings soar,
while the beautiful sit
on the cutting room floor.
Exiled by masses for its thought.
You know, I said to myself,
the rat race just runs,
never ends in this hell,
but I appear only as a trap.
Cause it's nothing
but poison to taste.
A mousetrap to see
the look on their face.
The natural selection
of this place
Your problems
tied off with a belt,
the extraneous love
you had for yourself
does nothing
but
drain
right
out
And the lies you tell to yourself
were quickly put
on the first train to hell
and I was busy
shovelling
the coals.
10. Speed Queen
A hundred degrees
in a car with no A. C.
The sweat rolled down her back
in tiny beads.
The comedown disease
hit her hard and made her weak.
Her mind began to crack
into shards.
She made the drive
to slum town,
to buy a bag of ice
to cool down.
Reaching into daddy's wallet,
she had to pay somehow.
All day.
All night.
All day.
All night.
All day.
All night.
All day.
All night.
Cranking the levers
of her worn out brain.
Wasting her clever
mind again.
Paying for pleasure
with a ball and chain.
Praying for never
never land.
Earning dope at work
where she stripped
for low life jerks.
The money stuck between
her g-string trim.
They catcall
and smirk.
If they only knew her hurt.
They'd probably fuck their wives
instead of her.
Take the drive
to slum town,
and buy a bag of ice
to cool down.
Reach on into daddy's wallet.
You have to pay somehow.
11. Created
You pulled apart the blinds
hearing movement outside
and sketched a composite
of my words.
You pasted a collage
out of tallied thoughts.
Hoping verbal vomit
could be heard.
Though I was ill prepared,
no tension filled the air,
security surrouding like a quilt.
You told me of the months
when fear was on the hunt,
unbearable and hidden from the world.
Created a barrage
from a single punch
knocking my opponent
to the floor.
Though I was ill informed,
we both unleashed the storm.
Your confidence raised me like a stilt.
12. Everyone's Columbus
The only source of news
I've found
is the half raised flags,
and the people's frowns.
Streetsigns stick up like crosses
from the ground.
Cause everyone's columbus
in this God forsaken town.
The only source of love
I've found
is the ropes by which
our hands are bound.
Tonight we'll go kill the natives.
I'll get the hounds.
Cause everyone's a hero
in this god forsaken town.
The only source of independence now
is the mayflower we hop on
while our preachers burn it down.
Survival of the fattest,
so hold on to your cows,
cause everyone is starving in this god forsaken town.
Problem is I'm such a pilgrim
that I'm not allowed back
to the place that I once built cause
they think it's all an act.
So why's the hobo
given advice to find a home,
while the rich man spends his quarters
using them all alone?
13. Vapors Of Poison
The hardest choice of the day
is whether to pay
with paper or plastic.
Your notes are rubbish.
Running the bath
with the water you pissed in.
The difficulties never cease.
Find a place to feed.
Which two word trough
shall we feast upon?
Shorten your life
with a meatpie that glistens.
Park your psyche on an isle
on earth's other side.
No vapors of poison
or theft or muggings.
Silence prevails
in this place.
The swaying palm trees
meet your needs,
shade from sweltering heat.
Which grain of sand
will steal your thoughts
raise the sails on this race?
Changed your name.
Moved to the capital.
The region's secret city
hidden in the rubble.
Play these games.
Prove your worth to idols.
Begging for pity,
while giving home to trouble.
The big decision of your trip
is whether to sip
the devil's tears or ale.
Your room became a jail where
the inmates pay for the prison cell
Rest your head upon the docks
where sailors once shoved off.
Waiting for the wind
to push your barge to them,
a permanent escape
from this system.
14. Object
Can't believe it's taken me this long
to warm to you.
You make the worn out songs
seem so new.
Can't believe I walked away
as you sighed next to the sheets.
Binging for a couple days
then admitting my defeat.
My object of desires
you wear every dress.
Old fashioned woman
never tellin me whats best.
On your chest beneath a cover
is where I long to lay my head.
You are my water and my bread.
Can't believe it's taken us this long
to be so close.
The highway's same old song
and the drive is comatose.
Can't believe I looked around
for a finer specimen.
You are the remedy I've found,
my strength through daily medicine.
My object of desires
you wear every dress.
Old fashioned lover
never tellin me whats best.
On your chest beneath a cover
is where I long to lay my head.
You are my water and my bread.
15. In The Smoke
Do you remember
the promises we made?
All the words you left
that will someday fade?
Burnt your letters
and I watched them fly away,
and I swore
in the smoke
I saw your face.
In the ashes your name
like a surrogate flame.
That would never pass away.
That would never grow a face.
I have crossed hot coals
for you.
And all you say
is good.
Do you remember
the melodies we sang?
Like the whiskey I pour
down this rusty drain?
Broke the bottles
and I cleaned up the place
and I swore
in the smoke
I saw your face.
In the ashes your name
like a surrogate flame.
That would never pass away.
That would never grow a face.
I have crossed hot coals
for you.
And all you say
is good.
16. Orifice Or Oedipus
I have seen
the future of America
wandering down the street.
With no shirt
no shoes
no service to the world.
Behind glazed over eyeballs
a hopelessness.
Between chasers and cans
an emptiness.
What shall fill their holes?
Orifice or Oedipus?
What shall fill their holes?
Ethanol? Cholesterol?
Sodium or Opium?
There is a voice in you.
Liquor knocks,
hear it talk.
Unlock
and expect
to receive.
Deep in your frontal lobes,
demons mock,
spirits walk,
tempting
and testing
your beliefs.
The crevasse
only grows
stitch
by
stitch
digging
digging digging
in until
you can't
get out.
I have seen
the future of the empire.
Sauntering down the boulevard
with a case,
sad face,
cooler dragged in tow.
Such disposable income.
17. Lonely Seed
You don't even have to dig
to plant this lonely seed.
Just pour a little water on
and viciously
it feeds.
These majestic oaks that rise up
and blanket dirty ground,
the strangling vines that erupt
choking all who make a sound.
This lonely seed
will strangle you,
and hold you if you want it to.
This lonely seed
will love you
when the soil just won't.
You don't even have to choose
branches stab your eyes.
So there's really not a thing
to see or realize.
Although it is a luxury
to see no death or wars,
it also is a task to see
the holy through the whores.
This lonely seed
will strangle you,
and hold you if you want it to.
This lonely seed
will love you
when the soil just won't.
18. Giant Steel Coffin
His hands are at
the top of the wheel
in a giant steel coffin.
Out on excursion,
the land is there to steal.
Eyes on the endless white lines,
a four wheeled apartment
Out on expedition
drive the metropolis at night.
Graves on the side of the freeway
remind you life is brief.
Pave over the victims.
Grind them
into beef.
Tanks are clogging the cement.
These driveable weapons
slam into sedans,
leaving death but taking dents.
The fumes color glorious sunsents,
pollution has its pros.
Hover amidst the haze.
Our doom has not come yet.
Rest in peace.
Bleeding out on gravel.
Sweet release.
Screaming out for mother.
Sirens squeal,
causing you to babble.
Sweet release.
Dreaming of your other.
19. No Sound
No sound can compare
to the comfort
in the silence
that we share.
Tied together
by a double knot
til death.
Feed me.
Fuck me.
Fold my clothes.
YOU
ARE
MY
ONLY
HOPE.
She loves a man
with square jaw
and working hands.
A rock to build to build her house upon.
A body to wake beside at dawn.
( Tex Winters)
Once again,
it's sinking in.
This feeling can't be numbed by medicine.
Lonely layers hidden
within meanings,
we're so cool.
And complicated.
But at the end of the day,
I still feel the indentations that you make.
Your shoulder shudders,
your ribcage breaks,
but you cling on
to my
weak bones.
(DF) Didn't think you could act this way.
(TW) Didn't think it could end so soon.
(DF) Getting drunk on our wedding day
(TW) Nodding off on our honeymoon
20. Ashley McCoy
Ashley McCoy
longed for a boy
with a leather chair
in hollywood.
In his office she'd descend below the desk.
Improbable dreams
of fame magazines
led to pursuit
of a higher goal.
She'd do anything to reach that pinnacle.
As her fleece hit the carpet,
in her mind,
she was an actress.
As her back hit the mattress,
it was stained,
soft and sheetless.
Famous and fancy free.
Fashionista fantasy.
Timothy J
rode a new wave
when the scrips ran out
from switzerland.
(TW) Chaos consumed his cranium.
Aluminum foil
helped it to boil
with a blackness indescribable.
(TW) Holding time in empty ziploc bags.
There was peace for a moment.
He slumped down in his armchair.
It was sleek and so potent.
He came down for the last time.
Just a fish in the ocean,
on his back, floating flatlined.
Just a drill for the medics.
Gone was the novelty.
Nothing's as good as it used to be.
Let down his friends. Let down his family.
Let down his way of life.
22. Tend To Me
(words by Celia C.)
I wanna know you,
your stories and all your secrets.
But I don't wannna git hurt,
cuz I'm good at hurtin.
And wearing
my heart on my sleeve,
til it's bruised
like a fallen peach.
So darlin, tend to me.
So darlin, tend to me.
I might seem tart,
but I promise I'm sweet.
So don't mislead me.
And darlin, don't mistreat me.
Just walk along beside me,
and want to know me.
And darlin', tend to me.
And darlin', tend to me.
I might seem tart,
but I promise I'm sweet.
Sweet on you,
sweet on you.
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